IT HARDLY MATTERS Back to Main Index Browse the Archives	Thursday, October 28, 2004 ( 11:02 AM ) From CourtTV.com: Man attempts to rob stores with sticks Authorities in San Antonio, Texas are taking Ralph Cortez's alleged robbery attempt seriously, even if his victims did not. The 35-year-old man is accused of trying to hold up a grocery store and a beauty salon using two sticks. According to a police report, Cortez allegedly entered the grocery store wielding two sticks and covering the lower half of his face with his shirt on Sept. 29. He then waved his sticks at the cashier and asked for money. But the cashier and customers who witnessed the attempted stickup laughed at Cortez. The cashier told Cortez that he had a stick of his own. He grabbed a nearby stick and waved it at Cortez, who fled the store. The cashier called police, who got a description of Cortez from the store's surveillance camera. Police spokesperson Officer Joe Rios said when the would-be thief left the grocery store, he took his stick-wielding act to a beauty salon on the same street. He did not fare any better there. When a salon employee told Cortez that she had no money to give him, he allegedly began hitting the cash register with the sticks. The police report said the hapless robber stopped his assault on the machine only after the woman gave him two dollars that she had on the counter. Police arrested Cortez in a nearby alley minutes after the incident. They also recovered his weapons and the two dollars. Cortez is being held in the Bexar County jail on $100,000 bond. Friday, October 22, 2004 ( 03:37 PM ) This story needs no introduction. ( 03:22 PM ) "You must remember this, a kiss is still a kiss". Your romance is Casablanca. A classic story of love in trying times, chock full of both cynicism and hope. You obviously believe in true love, but you're also constantly aware of practicality and societal expectations. That's not always fun, but at least it's realistic. Try not to let the Nazis get you down too much. What Romance Movie Best Represents Your Love Life? brought to you by Quizilla Thursday, October 14, 2004 ( 01:13 PM ) From the Onion's Horoscope section: Leo: (July 23—Aug. 22) You'll feel a lot better with warm clothes on your back and food in your stomach, proving that cannibalism has a couple things going for it. Monday, October 4, 2004 ( 11:49 PM ) Seriously -- does anyone else think that Elton John is losing it? (Item 1) (Item 2)