IT HARDLY MATTERS Back to Main Index Browse the Archives	Saturday, April 30, 2005 ( 03:07 PM ) I don't know what's going on, but over the past week this here blog has been getting an exorbitant number of hits. I doubt it's because I have anything insightful or intellectual to say. Except for how I worked All Your Base Are Belong To Us into a political analysis (I use that term loosely). That was just plain genius. ( 01:16 PM ) Watching about thirty seconds of the first clip from this post reminded me just how much I can't stand kid's music. When I have kids, they're going to be rasied on a healthy mixture of the Triple D Threat: Don Messer, Damien Jurado, and the Dropkick Murphys. And when they're ready, they'll be introduced to the Alkaline Trio. Whether or not they want to listen to TMBG's kids records or the upcoming New Amsterdams kids record will be up to them. Thursday, April 28, 2005 ( 08:24 PM ) Well, motherfucker managed to keep the OC from being shown this week, CSI is being bumped back so Survivor can be shown which means it's going to overlap with House Hunters! Thanks for nothing, chump. Good thing we have a VCR. ( 09:13 AM ) The President is going to have a prime time news conference tonight to blab about Social Security. Motherfucker better NOT be interrupting my CSI or House Hunters!!! Wednesday, April 27, 2005 ( 09:52 PM ) Okay so I don't know how many of you watch 24 on a regular basis, but seriously, how rad has the show been lately? Chloe gets sent out into the field and we all know that some bad guy is going to come and shoot people at the place she is going to be at, and in the back of my mind I'm half-expecting it to be Chloe's final episode even though she is one of the finest characters on television and I would hate to see her go. Imagine how pumped I got though when she's being attacked by a crazed terrorist and she grabs ahold of that assault rifle and SHOOTS THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF HIM!! HELL JESS!!1! Tuesday, April 26, 2005 ( 11:22 PM ) You remember how a few years ago Friendster was all the rage and all of a sudden everyone was a member? Well, I was always opposed to Friendster and vowed to never sign up on it. I have my well-justified reasons which I will not go into here. Nonetheless, I have remained true to my convictions and am still not a Friendsterist. I did, however, join MySpace. What does this mean? Oh yeah: I'm a big fat hypocrite!! Except MySpace is like 5 billion times cooler AND Robot Frank is posting entries there. Face. Friday, April 22, 2005 ( 02:20 PM ) From CourtTV.com: Police looking for neat burglars They swiped the valuables, then did the dishes. Police in Richmond City, Va., are looking for burglars who tidied up after burglarizing a woman's apartment. According to Police Captain Karl Leonard, the woman returned from vacation on March 31 and discovered that her stereo, computer and other electronic items were gone. She also noticed that her laundry and dishes had been washed and dried. Leonard said the woman was out of town for six days and it was very likely that the suspects knew she would be gone for that length of time. "They drank all her liquor, ate her food, listened to music from her CD collection, used her shower and slept in her bed," the police captain said. "They knew she wasn't coming back soon." He speculated that the robbers occupied the apartment for five days at most and may have organized a party during that period. But the apartment's resident returned to a clean and tidy home. Leonard said his department is uncertain about how many people were involved in the incident and have developed no leads. He also added that the woman was looking to move. Anyone with information should contact the Chesterfield Police at (804) 748-0660. Thursday, April 21, 2005 ( 11:11 PM ) While the homemade video for Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" (via Jeff) is 100% classy, it still does not come anywhere close to the new video for Jimmy Eat World's "If You Don't, Don't." ( 05:27 PM ) I don't know which is better about this article: the fact that a politician actually said "bullshit" loud enough for people around him to hear or that the author actually used the word "disses" in the headline. House Resources chairman disses key provision of energy bill From Ted Barrett CNN Washington Bureau Thursday, April 21, 2005 Posted: 3:03 PM EDT (1903 GMT) WASHINGTON (CNN) -- Shortly before the House began debate Wednesday on an energy bill aimed primarily at making the country less dependent on overseas oil, a House committee chairman involved in the legislation bluntly dismissed a key provision to boost the use of hydrogen fuels. House Resources Committee Chairman Richard Pombo, R-California, a key proponent of drilling for oil in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge in Alaska, whispered, "This is bulls--t," to House Majority Whip Roy Blunt as the two men stood listening to Rep. John Doolittle, R-California, talk about the benefits of hydrogen fuel at a crowded Capitol Hill news conference. The remark, which was meant to be private, was overheard by a CNN reporter standing next to Blunt. And also: did anyone see the Daily Show last night? Did Dennis Miller actually say that he opposed hydrogen-powered cars because he didn't want a bunch of "Hindenburgs" driving around? He realizes just how flammable gasoline is, right?? Maybe I just need to watch less of the Daily Show. I think that's why I end up writing so much more about politics than I would like, and also why I'm such an angry person in general. Politicians piss me off. Oy. Wednesday, April 20, 2005 ( 11:54 AM ) Wow, I wish I didn't have to write about politics ever, but sometimes this shit just BEGS for it. "The time will come for the men responsible for this to answer for their behavior," DeLay said in a statement. It's called checks and balances. If he remembers basic high school government class, he'd know that the reason that many judges are appointed for life and don't have to take no shit from no one is because they are checking the cocksuckers who make crappy laws. They answer to the Constitution, bitches. He apologized last week, saying he had spoken in an "inartful" way. Well, we have artful as the root and we have unartful as the negative form. We even have artless. But no inartful. Sorry, loser. "And not only that, but he said in session that he does his own research on the Internet? That is just incredibly outrageous." Has the man ever even experienced the Internet? It is the best thing ever invented. It has everything you need to know! Movie listings! Online gambling! Lame personal blogs! Pretty much all the research anyone would have to do in their entire life can be found here. Sen. Larry Craig, R-Idaho, retorted: "Doesn't the other side have anything to talk about nowadays?" Wait...huh? Seems to me that none of you have anything to talk about EVER. If ALL of you idiots would shut up then the world would be such a better place. Tuesday, April 19, 2005 ( 12:00 PM ) Believe it, friends, I've got some Dixie in me. Your Linguistic Profile: 60% General American English 25% Yankee 15% Dixie 0% Midwestern 0% Upper Midwestern What Kind of American English Do You Speak? Monday, April 18, 2005 ( 02:58 PM ) Bush supporter sues over 'W' logo DALLAS, Texas (AP) -- A supporter of President Bush is suing the Republican National Committee and one of its suppliers, claiming they stole his design for the ubiquitous "W" bumper sticker logo in the 2004 campaign. Seriously, he is the world's biggest douchebag. He should be glad someone else ain't suing HIM. Friday, April 15, 2005 ( 10:20 PM ) The MJ trial just keeps getting better and better! When Mesereau pressed her over and over about whether she was "lying" on the tape when she made positive comments about Jackson, she replied repeatedly that she was "acting" and following a script she had to memorize. "You're not going to call Halle Berry and ask, 'Are you Catwoman?'" she said. Friday, April 8, 2005 ( 05:27 PM ) I watched Fight Club last night, and then Drew drew this today. Wednesday, April 6, 2005 ( 11:25 PM ) Seven weeks before its release, "Star Wars" fanatics started lining up outside Grauman's Chinese Theater for the sixth installment of the popular George Lucas movie series. The vigil began Saturday. But there's a problem: "Star Wars: Episode III -- Revenge of the Sith" won't be showing at the Hollywood landmark when the movie is released May 19. The studio, 20th Century Fox, opted instead to open the film a mile away at the ArcLight theater. - Associated Press Dumbasses. They still haven't clued in to the fact that they need to get lives? It's always shocked me how little these people are contributing to society when they can sit on a sidewalk for two months straight and not do shit. As Vincent Vega once said, "They got a word for 'em, they're called bums. And without a job, residence, or legal tender, that's what you're gonna be -- a fuckin' bum!" Tuesday, April 5, 2005 ( 11:59 PM ) Yesterday I bore witness to the AWESOME, UNHOLY POWER of the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser. We'd used it before to do simple things like remove scuff marks and grime from walls. And at those tasks it was fantastic. But yesterday...yesterday something different happened. I watched in wonder at the sheer madness of how Meggin was able to use the Magic Eraser to polish our stainless steel tea kettle back to its original luster and mirror shine after months and months of abuse. Keep in mind, friends, that recommended methods were ineffective. Then she opened up the oven and started cleaning it up without any trouble -- to the point that it was beyond sparkling clean -- after I'd gone through all the trouble of using an over-the-counter cleaner on it. TWICE. And then there were the vertical blinds. A while back I was clumsy enough to get a whole lotta spatters of gel stain on the blinds in our dining room. Using mineral spirits and a Bleach Pen, I was able to take most of the stain off, leaving barely-visible spots behind. And what happened when Meggin went to town on the blinds with the Magic Eraser? Cleaned that shit RIGHT UP. No spots left behind. At all. Okay, so maybe mineral spirits are best when used on oil-based liquids. But nonetheless, I concur with Meggin when she suggests that they change the name to Black Magic Eraser. Monday, April 4, 2005 ( 02:03 PM ) Cover me in mud and leaves I won't be the one to fail you I'm a thousand gargoyles standing by your window To be sure there ain't no cure There could be no one to save you When the bad boys come to do you in again So when they tell you things that you don't want to know Or take you back to places you don't want to go You've got to bury that knife Keep your face in the light Because there's one thing they cannot do Is take from you what you keep in mud and leaves And if you walk, walk away Save yourself you've got something to lose And if you give what they take You can bet they will take it from you You're not the same as the day that you came You can choose dignity or shame You've got to bury your bones where you want in the ground Where they will not be found by the leeches you're keeping alive There's a man in your hand He's got nothing good to sell you And he's smashing a violin against your bed To be sure there ain't no cure He comes creeping back to beg you As a thousand gargoyles crash into his head And then that feeling comes you've been here once before That wicked feeling you don't want to feel no more You've got to bury that knife That you keep stuck in your side Before they dig that knife into you And break into what you keep out of their reach And if you walk, walk away Save yourself you've got nothing to prove And if you give what they take You can bet they will take it from you You're not the same as the day that you came You can choose dignity or shame You've got to carry your heart like a torch in the night Little keeper of light burning deep burning bright in the dark - Crooked Fingers Sunday, April 3, 2005 ( 03:56 PM ) So there is some controversy over a government sex ed site. The site advises parents to tell their teens why they should not have sex: "Tell them abstinence is the healthiest choice. They will not have to worry about getting pregnant or getting someone pregnant. They will not have to worry about sexually transmitted diseases, including HIV/AIDS. Nor will they have to worry that the person they are dating is only interested in them because of sex." This statement would be best finished off, though, with this: "They will have to worry, however, about being considered a TOTAL LOSER by everyone at school." I keed, I keed. Saturday, April 2, 2005 ( 11:02 AM ) So if there were any doubts about my Meggin's indie cred, let them be put to rest by the fact that she was able to identify "Social Observer" Sarah Vowell as the voice of Violet in The Incredibles last night! Friday, April 1, 2005 ( 01:30 PM ) MUST. GO.