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Saturday, 19 February 2000 Like my friend Mandi once told me, "Love is patient." Thursday, 17 February 2000 I haven't been this scared in a long time And I'm so unprepared, so here's your valentine Bouquet of clumsy words, a simple melody This world's an ugly place, but you're so beautiful to me. Valentine's Day came and went, and here I am still...I made it out okay. It's been rainy and cloudy here in Los Angeles for the better part of two weeks, except for today when I woke up bright and early to blue skies and sunshine. So much has been happening lately, and I don't know where it will lead me to. That's part of the adventure. I find myself having to resist falling head over heels because I want to avoid getting hurt. But I know that I'm going to have to take a chance if I'm to get what I want. So that's what I did today. I took a chance, I went with the flow, and was unconcerned with the outcome. And everything turned out fine. Even if worse came to worse, I'd be right back where I began. I caught the final scene of the film Fearless on television tonight, and it was one of the most beautiful sequences I've ever seen. In the very last shot, Jeff Bridges proclaims, through tears of joy, something that none of us should ever lose sight of: "I'm alive." Saturday, 5 February 2000 Amidst the disappointments and letdowns that I find myself handed once in awhile, I'm staying positive. In other news, my new Jimmy Eat World shirt came in the mail yesterday and I received numerous compliments on it throughout the day ranging from the how rockin the band is to its lovely bright red color. Today I went to the Sticks because I knew Kelly was working. She probably thinks I'm a weirdo for hanging out there all the time, but in all honestly I rarely go there ever. I just happen to show up when she's there, and we have a good time talking. And one last thing - happy birthday to my dear Heidi. Thursday, 3 February 2000 I watch you sleep sometimes Everytime is like the first time You're always on my mind Everyday is like the first day The past couple of days here in Los Angeles have been of unsurpassed beauty. Sunshine and warmth in the aftermath of a weekend of dismal rain and tragedy off the coast of Southern California.Things are looking bright and life is off and rolling, as usual. I worked an insane amount of hours this weekend because we're short-handed, but it was cool because Chris Hardwick came in to buy food. We hired a girl named Kelly and she is a blast. I get along with her so well...I realized today that we naturally click, which I've done with other people rarely as of late. But right now she's not the one for me. Alas, she has a boyfriend - which, if viewed from a certain perspective, is a plus. At least it's not a girlfriend. I saw Mark Eitzel again on Saturday night at Largo. A wonderful show, as always. He played old and new songs, and spent half the time talking to the audience about how much he dislikes LA. Of the last four concerts I've been to in the past fourteen months, three of them were seeing Mr. Eitzel. The fourth was the Afghan Whigs at the Palace. The thing with Eitzel is that every show is different. You can never know what will happen, so you have to keep coming back for more. A little over a week until Valentine's Day. Ugh. Not looking forward to the prospect of spending my first Valentine's Day alone in four years...Don't worry, for I am confident that if I sufficiently work my charm on a cutey I've got my eye on, beautiful things are right around the corner. Wednesday, 19 January 2000 Happy birthday to me! Yay, I'm twenty-two now. It was a fantastic day. Heidi called, which was great. In the middle of my music history lecture, I had a mini-epiphany. There I was, sitting in Shoenberg Hall, listening to the third movement of JC Bach's piano concerto in D major, when I realized what a great life I have. Every day I wake up with an excitement brewing in me that I haven't felt in a long time. I love my classes, I love my friends, I love my job. It's like that Diet Coke commercial. Things are great, so why worry about anything? I'm going to enjoy everything I do from now on. Saturday, 15 January 2000 Right now I am listening to my favorite Low song, "Coattails." I'm making a tape of all Low songs for Susannah. It's a quiet Saturday afternoon, and I'm relaxing after the mother of all busy weeks. Classes started on Monday, and I'm taking a music history class on Mozart that I'm bonkers for. It's been so long since I've taken a class that isn't psychology (aside from learning Italian, but that doesn't really count). I should have been a music history minor. But now it's too late since I'm planning on graduating in June. The other exciting thing I'm doing this quarter is being a teaching assistant for Psych 174. I get to handle a couple of lab sections, and I actually had to run four on Friday because I covered for a colleague who was out of town. It's a lot of fun to have students look to you for guidance. I want to teach someday, and this will be great experience. Sunday, 9 January 2000 There were no miracles; prayers went unanswered, and misfortune tramped with equal brutality on the virtuous and the corrupt; and the chaplain, who had conscience and character, would have yielded to reason and relinquished his belief in the God of his fathers - would truly have resigned both his calling and his commission and taken his chances as a private in the infantry or the field artillery, or even, perhaps, as a corporal in the paratroopers - had it not been for such successive mystic phenomena as the naked man in the tree at that poor sergeant's funeral weeks before and the cryptic, haunting, encouraging promise of the prophet Flume in the forest only that afternoon: Tell them I'll be back when winter comes. - Joseph Heller, 1955. Tuesday, 4 January 2000 Happy
Birthday Colleen. |
