Tuesday, 25 April 2000 All that you see is how I let go All that I know is how I can hold on I much feel better after having a beautifully cathartic weekend. Spent a dumpload of money, hung out with friends, and saw famous people. You can't beat that, no matter how hard you try. I'm really out of it right now (what's new, eh?) due to an enormous meal eaten at Versailles because today is Abbie's brithday. Me and Abbie go all the way back to Franklin Elementary School back in Burlingame. We all went out to celebrate with a little Cuban food. Yum. Saw Keri Russell and Scott Speedman of Felicity fame on Saturday in Santa Monica, had dinner with Ron Pompeil (creator of that spray-on hair stuff), and helped Scott Glenn who was in one of my fave movies Backdraft at work. Hurray for famous people. Shopped to my heart's content and bought some new threads. Went to Good Luck and the Dresden Room and hung out LA style. The weather here is wonderful, you should come and join me. Incredibly warm nights are best in San Francisco, because you can smell the ocean and everything is peaceful. But Los Angeles will do for now. Other than that, life is mostly school and work. No profound revelations or epiphanies worth mentioning. Last Thursday I got to hang out with the girl I would have given up everything for, she is so beautiful. I didn't want the night to ever end. But I guess we were never meant to be, I tried my hardest. Some things you can't change about a person. I bottomed out last Friday, and unfortunately it slipped my mind that it was an old friend's birthday. I hope she enjoyed it, wherever she may be. Wednesday, 19 April 2000 My God, it's been a long time since I've written something here. Time is just flying. I've done a lot these past two weeks. I gave a speech in front of 300 people. That was quite scary. Picked up a research gig working with autistic children. It's promising work...I'm going to make a difference in the world. It might even lead to a job after I graduate in June. Dream of Californication: Last Saturday I went to my first fancy schmancy Hollywood Industry party. My friend Becky worked on the set of a movie called Bedazzled (yeah, crappy name huh). Some sort of remake of an old Dudley Moore flick. Elizabeth Hurley and Brandon Frasier are in it. Brandon showed up to the party. I saw him. Hurrah. Well, Becky was an assistant to the director, a certain Harold Ramis. If you don't know who that is, he was Egon in Ghostbusters. He was there, but Becky failed to introduce us. And I was so bombed on vodka tonics that I would've made a fool of myself anyways. It was a blast. The party was held on the Fox lot in Century City, and I got to wander around the outdoor New York set for NYPD Blue. It's like a real city, except it was deserted. Weirdness. The actual party was on part of the set of the movie, which was a night club owned by the devil. So when you all go see the movie, I can tell you that I boogied down on the devil's dancefloor. Dig that, baby. I don't know if I'm sliding into a slightly depressed lull or pulling myself out. It rained on Monday, and I've felt out of it since then. Things just aren't working out the way I wanted them to. I need to let go and give myself a fresh start. That's what will pick me up. I need to let go of my preconceptions and my false assumptions. I need to let life happen. It's my roomie Kelly's birthday tomorrow. 4-20! Yay. A bunch of us are gonna go eat a yummy meal at the Cheesecake Factory and then go drinkin'. Maybe somewhere before then I'll meet up with Mary Jane. There are so many great things to look foward to, but for some reason I'm not as excited as I know I could be. So many things. But I'm just here, feeling a little blue. Unfortunately, this might mean I've fallen in love. Which is exactly what I didn't need to happen. Do you know what you've got going good for you? Wednesday, 5 April 2000 Maybe things are getting better Maybe things aren't so bad. Spring break is over. Worked eight days in a row just to stay afloat. Had some fun, though. Now I need a real vacation, but school has reared its ugly head. I'm taking two classes that have never been offered before. Abnormal Psychology lab, focusing on observational data, and History of Electronic Dance Music. No kidding. It's gonna be fun. My last quarter of education at UCLA, hurrah! Taking better care of myself. Went on a steady diet of non-homecooked meals for a better part of last month. No more going out to eat. More sleep. Vitamins every day. Still hitting the bars, but that's alright. It's fun. Music. Designing a Nervous Breakdown by The Anniversary. A great album, fun to listen to because it is far from formulaic while sticking to some sort of pop sensibility. Something to Write Home About by The Get Up Kids. I just can't get enough. Icky Mettle by Archers of Loaf. Blast from the past. Flicks. Romeo Must Die, Asian people kick ass. The Matrix on the best screen in the world here in Westwood. Every movie lover should make the pilgrimage to the Village theater to experience it. Books. The Elegant Universe by Brian Greene - String theory and what holds the universe together. Permanent Midnight by Jerry Stahl - one of the best writers of our time, talking about his life of heorin and ALF. The Professor and the Madman by Simon Winchester - "a tale of murder, insanity, and the making of the Oxford English Dictionary." Susannah, if you're reading this, sorry I'm a deadbeat. I swear you'll get the goodies I promised, like, three months ago. Tuesday, 14 March 2000 There are miles between our hearts There's salvation in false starts Spring has come early. An unexpected series of incredibly warm and sunny days put me in the mood to jumpstart this old site of mine. It's been awhile since I've posted anything round here. I've been spending my time at school, at work, and falling for girls that make me smile when I think of them. It hasn't been a smooth ride this past month, but I'm in a good place now. The good things that happen cover up the letdowns. I look forward to everything that tomorrow holds. Heidi came up last weekend for one last hurrah of the single life. You see, she's getting married on Saturday. I never thought the time would come so soon when I'd be able to tell the world that one of my ex-girlfriends is getting married. I'd give anything to be there, but I can't. Now that she lives in San Diego, any time that I get to see her is special. We took her out to Dale's favorite Sunset Blvd hangout, the Saddle Ranch. It was beautiful. There I stood in the crowd, watching Heidi ride the mechanical bull, as firetrucks raced by outside with sirens blaring. The Winter We've Left Behind.  Home.  Next.