- Wednesday, 15 December 1999
There is no greater feeling than to show up to a final five minutes before it is
to begin, except for the fact that the room where you think the final is being held is
completely empty. Trust me, I know this from experience. And it turns out the final was
taking place on the complete opposite side of campus. Literally. Oh boy.
Trish called after I finished last night's entry. We had a pleasant conversation about the
state of our friendship, and I expressed my displeasures about the content of our
interactions. We worked through the problems without coming to an absolute solution but
that is okay. There aren't any answers...only ways to evolve. I came away from the talk
feeling better about everything in general. It's like I've experienced an awakening.
Tuesday, 14 December 1999
Finals week. Caffeine consumption has increased exponentially.
Last night at work, phased out several times and did some thinking. Thought about
love and persistent crushes in behaviorist terms. Dr. L would be proud.
Afterwards, went to the Westwood Brewing Company to celebrate Becky's birthday. Two Scottish
Ales and I was feeling good.
Today had a full day of work. The first few hours were great. Clowned around with Kerry,
and remembered how wonderful my job can be. After I clocked out, spent three hours studying
at the Coffee Bean.
Found a new roommate named Kelly. She went to high school with my good friends
Sandra and Robin. As Audrey pointed out, Asian ratio of apartment maintained after Rob's
departure.
Addendum to Saturday's entry. Ultimately, I want Trisha to be happy. This
unfortunately means happiness in somebody else's arms. The catch twenty-two I've lived
with for so long.
LA Times horoscope excerpt:
"New love on horizon - get ready."
- (Won't place too much importance on the words of the stars. Feeling the
excitement, however.)
Yesterday's:
- "You may already be in love and not even know it."
(??)
Saturday, 11 December 1999
Excerpt from my horoscope in LA Weekly:
- "Not the best of times and, because you've managed to live this long, not
the worst, either."
Rob moved out on Thursday night. Drove off and left LA behind. So now my life consists of
work, finals, and searching for a new roommate.
I had my Italian final this morning and it drained me. But the weather here has been
incredible these days, so I took advantage of the blue skies and sun. I walked down to
Rhino Recrods and stumbled upon a goldmine: the Get Up Kids' self-titled EP as well
as Four Minute Mile. They are both amazing. I just love it when I buy CDs without
any previous expectations and they end up exceeding my wildest dreams.
As I was reworking this section tonight, Trish called me up in tears. She was all torn up
over something or other with her new boyfriend. Through pure instinct I comforted her, but
at the same time I was upset because it's no longer my responsibility. What a seriously
unhealthy relationship we have when she calls up her exboyfriend to complain about the
current. Unhealthy for me, that is, because I'm still not over her. It seems that I've
been doing this for the better part of the past six years: helping her through the broken
hearts when it's mine that's being broken all the while. How do you comfort the one you
love when they're hurting because of their love for someone else? I never thought I'd see
the day when she felt for another person the way she felt for me.
But it's true, this isn't the worst of times that I've experienced. When you've walked
through Hell and made it out alive on the other side, the sun shines a little brighter
than it did before...
Someday I'll find my way home
- Someday December won't feel so cold...
Wednesday, 8 December 1999
After a great night's sleep and completion of my oral examination for Italian, I
am experiencing a renewal in energy.
Tuesday, 7 December 1999
I had the most peculiar feeling the other day. For awhile, I felt as if something
wonderful was awaiting me, just around the corner. My anxiety subsided momentarily, and I
felt as if my patience would one day pay off. It's like I say, "Magic
happens when you least expect it."
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