Thanksgiving. let down & hanging around.


Thursday, 25 November 1999
(Hello from Burlingame CA.)

"You build me up, you break me down again
And I take it."

"What do you want?"
"I don't want anything."
"Why not?"
"Because I don't think anything is going to help."

Well, I can say that this Thanksgiving break has broken my heart and left me blue so far. I though that it would be something magical, but I'm emptyhanded.

Not to dwell on the melancholy, here are some of the more pleasant things that have happened to me since Tuesday...

- Dale and I drove up from LA and I had my first Chalupa from Taco Bell. It was wonderful.

- I ran into a classmate from 8th grade named James. He recognized me (he was checking my ID at a restaurant), but I would never have recognized him. He was pudgy back then. Now he's tall and skinny. It made me think, Man, 8th grade was a long time ago.




- Wednesday: After watching my world seemingly fall apart, I bought a new Walkman. It totally rocks. My old one is ready to be put to sleep.

- I hung out with Danny on Wednesday night and played a little guitar. It has been so long since I'd played with someone else. Quite therapeutic, actually. "Fake Plastic Trees" came up, as it always does when I'm feeling especially sullen. We're getting together again Friday. It's going to be a blast.

- After Dan's I stopped by Liz's to say hello. She cut her hair short and it's adorable. Chatted a bit, then I came home. Great fun, that Liz is.

- Thanksgiving. Sucky.

- Thanksgiving, post-family gathering: Went down to Liz's, and Dale and Cami came over. Cami is awesome. She had to work at a flower shop all day today, but she hung out anyways. She's a big girl now... her favorite store is Banana Republic and tomorrow we're going to get her a cell phone (she's my kinda girl!). I can't wait. Eventually Cami went home to go beddy-bye but me Dale and Lizzy went to a bar in San Mateo and had a couple of drinks. Now I'm here, talking to you.

In conclusion:
Well, once again I find myself climbing out of the hole. This is fucking ridiculous...I should just pick myself up and start over, but I can't. Or won't. What is it that I'm afraid of? I still can't help but think of the movie "Swingers" and the great advice it holds...Yeah I know I'm a freak. Sorry.


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